Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Say What You Mean

Do you know what it's like when you want to say something, use a specific word or utter a certain phrase, and for the life of you, you cannot remember what it is?  You know it's part of your vocabulary, but it's so far down in your subconscious that it's like you're trying to learn how to talk all over again.  You're in the moment of conversation, you can't think of what you really want to say, so you substitute something inferior and the moment is gone.  It's unlikely you even think of it again.  Or, you chew on it and chew on it until you drive yourself batty.  You know, like me.

About two years ago, I got stuck on a word.  It was so damn elusive that I spent days, maybe even weeks, wracking my brain for it.  I would tell myself the definition of said word, think of the sounds within it, and pass the 75 minute drive to Detroit twice a week while I was going to grad school in utter frustration when I still couldn't grasp it (drive time is good think time; well, so long as you pay attention to the road).  Of course, it has happened since, a word escaping me, but this one niggled and wriggled and poked and prodded until I could barely stand it.  I couldn't think of synonyms or antonyms, so a thesaurus wouldn't have helped.  I thought the word started with an "e" when, in fact, it started with an "a", so pouring through a dictionary would have unlikely meted efficient results.  And I didn't even consider using a reverse dictionary tool that I just now Googled to see if it really existed and by which I am mystified.  There is a search tool for everything, and if I worked in reference I bet I would be so up-to-the-date on these things, I just know it.  But I digress...

Then it happened.  It came to me out of the clear blue sky (or maybe it was a cloudy day, I don't remember).  The word was articulate.  How ironic is that?  I have never forgotten that word since, and I think I am more articulate for it.  Oh, so sorry for that one...

To be articulate is a very handy thing in most endeavors, but especially in the work place.  Of course, nearly every job ad I come across demands excellent communication skills.  It saves time, prevents error, and just makes life a more pleasant experience.  Case in point, when communicating with clients in insurance, it is vital that agent and customer are clear on the customer's needs.  The agent might have a friendly rapport with the client, the nature of their relationship might be very casual, but details are necessary.  If the client says, "I need insurance on the house," do not assume that he or she refers to the current mailing address.  You might think you know the client well enough to know what they mean, but you'd be wrong.  You might insure the wrong thing, and if a loss occurs, there will be problems.  Insurance companies are not going to care if you say, "Well, I meant to insure it."

Good communication would also save you and your boss headaches when he's trying to convey what it is he wants done.  Usually in this case, good communication means having mind-reading abilities.  Boss man may have a very clear idea in his head of what he wants, but without those awesome communication skills, he'll have a doozy of a time getting it across to you.  And if you ask questions to clarify some issues, he'll say, with exasperation if not downright surliness, "Just do what I want."  And sometimes you're left scratching your head as to exactly what that was.

So, these aspects of communication have been on my mind lately.  I've had so many phone calls wherein the caller forgoes "hello", "goodbye", and sometimes even "thanks" after I've provided information/service, simply to get to the point, get done, and get on to something else.  Maybe that has to do more with manners than good communication, but it definitely leaves an impression on me during the exchange.  I think there might be some damage to simple politeness in this age of convenience and instant gratification, and I think a lot of that damage is evident in the way we communicate.  We don't take time to talk or look each other in the eyes.  And undivided attention used to be a good thing.  Now we scroll through apps on our Smartphones while someone is next to us trying to have a conversation.  We communicate through acronyms that require a dictionary to follow a discussion if you're new to the world of LOL.  (But then again, what are words but a series of symbols, anyway?)    

Man, this got away from me and turned into a rant.  Not a very good one, either, since I'm not entirely unplugged.  I mean, hello!  Blog!  I'm halfway between a neophyte and an old hand at this tech biz, about five years behind the trends, but getting there.  I guess sometimes it's just nice not to be logged in all of the time.  And I really miss those long conversations with best friends or even a random person waiting outside after a concert for a glimpse of the band.  I'm not sure I know how to have one of those anymore.

For all of our connectedness, we don't really connect sometimes without the whole conversational package of tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, etc.  And I say sometimes, because I am part of some awesome online communities that I wouldn't change for the world.  Well, with one exception: I'd want to meet them face to face one day.  I guess what I'm saying is that there is a certain intimacy when you're in the same room together, talking, that is hard to convey over the Web.  But this isn't news, is it?  See?  The whole five years behind the times thing? 

Okay, rant is totally over.  But, better stay tuned for an addendum. 

No comments:

Post a Comment